he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
