I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
