he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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