tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
