Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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