OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
