She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
