hotel room ftw
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
