wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
