I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
