What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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