Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize