That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
