That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize