I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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