my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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