I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
