dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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