careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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