I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
