we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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