margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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