I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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