Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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