guys are not supposed to queef...right?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you inspire me to be a worse person
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
