So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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