didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I skipped work to stalk him.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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