My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
