Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
