wake up i wanna do it froggy style
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
