I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
