last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
