the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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