i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
How's work?
Spinning.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
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