I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i out mim tonsoeep
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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