I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
