Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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