More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
