She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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