Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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