I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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