So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
