You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
