so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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