Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
