Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Im part way to drunk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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