We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You ruined the universe
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
