oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
