i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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