I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
