I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
