the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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