Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
