Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
MIDGETS
????
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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