Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she smelled like a LAN party
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
