i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize