Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
