Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i dont even know how to be here
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
