So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Who died my cat blue again?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
