She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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