I could have mohawked her pubes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
